Lessons of Human Life
by BleedingHeart765
Summary: So Aizen has given five of his Espada time off in the world of the living. Xaine has been given the Cuarta and the Sexta to take care of. They know absolutely nothing of the human world or their way of life.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Eri and Xaine walked through the white sands of Hueco Mundo looking for the palace of Las was had blue eyes, and long blood red hair tied in a tight bun with her fringes hanging. She wore a black sweater dress, black ankle boots. Xaine had honey brown eyes. He wore a black paper boy cap over messy shoulder length brown hair and his bangs covered most of his eyes. He wore white t shirt and black cargos with black cargo boots. His gloves were black and fingerless. He was listening to his IPod with one ear bud in his ear. Xaine looked around for their destination. When he found it he tugged on Eri's sleeve. She looked at him. "What is it, Xaine?" He pointed to the large white fortress farther out. "You think you can catch up with me?" Xaine nodded and both sped off towards the large building.

Xaine stared in awe at the size of the place. He couldn't believe the size of it. This was the definition of a kingdom. "Xaine, come on." He followed her to the entrance of the place and one lone man stood there.

"Eri Engel?" Eri nodded. "Follow me." The man turned around and walked inside. They followed him inside. Xaine decided it was time to put his other ear bud in. He didn't feel that it was his place to listen to whatever was going on. He was only here because he was with Eri, his aunt and because he can open doorways to any place he wants. They all stood in front of a pair of double doors. The doors open to see a lone man sitting on the throne. "So do we have a deal?" The man asked getting to his point. "Deal."

xXx

Xaine stood on ladder reaching for a book. He leaned further off the ladder to try and grab the book he wanted. He leaned too far and fell off the ladder. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact, but it never came. He opened his eyes to see that he was being held in someone's arms. "Th-thank you for the help, but can you let go?" Xaine pushed against his helper's chest trying to get out of his arms. "No can do princess." His helper tightened his grip. "Hey." He looked up and his eyes widened. His helper was a tall male with blue hair, cyan blue eyes. There was a visible jawbone on his right cheek.

"You're an arrancar."  
"Tch. Names Grimmjow." The man answered. "H-hello, Grimmjow. Will you put me down? I'm getting too much attention from people." He turned his head to look at the humans looking at Xaine. In their eyes he was floating in midair. "How are you doing that?" Xaine was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to explain that a man was holding him in midair. "Uh." Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sonidos out of the library.

xXx

Xaine was dropped onto his own sofa by the blunette. "What do you want with me?"

"You're finally here." Xaine turns his head to see a man with a slender figure, with fairly short, messy black hair, pale white skin, a black upper lip, and green eyes with small slit-shaped pupils, similar to a cat's. Part of his bangs falls between his eyes, and he has distinctively thick eyebrows. He has teal lines which descend from the lower part of his eyes. His hollow hole is located on the base of his throat. The remainder of his Hollow mask lies on the top-left side of his head, forming a broken horned helmet. He sat in the recliner by the tv.

"Shut the hell up! I didn't see you go after him." The blunette sat on the dining room table in a criss cross position.

"Guys?"

"I wasn't given the order to find him, now was i?"

"Guys?"

"Yeah, yeah following orders like the good little lap dog you are."

"What does that make you?"

"Hey, guys!" They stop their arguing and turned to look Xaine. "Why did you bring me back to my apartment and how'd you get in here?"

"That Eri woman let us in. Lord Aizen felt it necessary to be with humans for a while, so he asked that woman to give us a living space and a guide until we are ordered to return." The stoic man answered and Xaine blinked twice. "I assumed that was your next question."

"There's more of you here?"

"There's five of us here. The other three are with the woman."

"Basically, you're supposed to be staying with me and I have to teach you?"

"You catch on quick, princess." Xaine pouted at Grimmjow. "It's Xaine, not princess." Grimmjow just shrugged. "Whatever you say, princess."

"How are you going to learn anything when only I can see you?" There was a knock at the door, so Xaine stood up to answer it. He opened the door to see two large metal crates one was at least 6 ft tall. The other was at least 5 ft. He pulled both boxes in and closed the door. "Pretty strong for such a dainty lithe body." His scowl looked more alike a pout to the arrancar. "Pretty complicated words for such a manner less brute." The bluenette just smirked.

He examines the crates closely to see engraved names on both. The first said Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. The second one said Ulquiorra Cifer. "The hell are those for?"

"I'm sure that we're about to find out." Xaine unlocks Ulquiorra's case and opens it. It was an almost exact copy of Ulquiorra with his eyes closed and without the tear lines, hollow hole, and helmet. The copy wore a black turtle neck with black jeans, and boots. He opens Grimmjow's next and his was an almost exact copy. His didn't have the teal markings or the jawbone. His hollow hole was no longer there either. He wore a form fitting blue short sleeve hoodie, faded blue jeans, and white sneakers.

"The hell are they for?"

"They're gigai. If you're going to live here then you need to blend in."

"So they give us a more human look." Xaine nodded. "Let's try these on."

xXx

After about twenty minutes, they finally got the gigai on. "Why are they so damn tight?"

"It'll take time to get used to, but it'll disguise your spiritual pressure and keep you hidden from unwanted visitors." He watched them stretch in their new disguises. Then his phone rang which catches both arrancar's attention. "What is that?"

"It's my phone." Xaine answered.

"A what?" Xaine couldn't help but laugh. They came here with absolutely no knowledge and he thought it was rather cute. "A form of communication that we use." The phone rang and he answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Xaine. Did they fit into the gigai?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"You jerk. How could you send them here without telling me?"

"I thought you'd decline."

"I wouldn't have declined if you asked."

"Are you declining now?"

"Well, no, but-"

"So, what's the problem then?"

"My problem is you making decisions without consulting me first. If you talked to me about then we wouldn't be having these problems, Eri." There was a sigh on the other end of the phone. "I'm sending a chest full of money over to you for food, money, personals, and entertainment. I'll give you money every month."

"Why a chest full of money?"

"It's enough to support all three of you, plus your rent since I told your boss that you will no longer be working for him." Xaine's eyes widened in shock and confusion. "Why would you do that? I love that place."

"You're boss wasn't too happy either and refused to accept your resignation. So he said you can come back anytime. You need to avert your attention to their needs, since they're like children who've just been born into a new world."

"Such a jerk."

"Just do it. I don't ask for much. Take them out. Take them shopping." With that said Eri hung up the phone. "She seems to do this to you a lot, huh?" He closed his phone and turned to them. "Yeah, she does this to everyone." There was another knock at the door. He maneuvered past the large cases and opened the door. There sat a black chest in front of his doorway. He picked it up and closed the door with his foot. He set the chest on the dining table and walked into one of the back rooms. He came back with an empty black backpack.

He opened the black chest to reveal two phones, and two wallets. There was a blue phone and wallet, and a black phone and wallet. He opened the blue wallet to find a credit card, an ID, and a driver's license.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

Jul. 31

Gender: M

Age: 24

Height: 186 cm (6'1")

Weight: 80 kg (176 lbs)

He opened He opened the black wallet and it also had a credit card, an ID, and a driver's lisence.

Ulquiorra Cifer

Dec. 1

Gender: M

Age: 21

Height: 169 cm (5'6 ½")

Weight: 55 kg (121 lbs)

Xaine checked both phones and saw that there were numbers programmed into the phone. He sighed and tossed them the phone and the wallets. "Your phone and wallet." For about half an hour he was teaching them how to use the phone. It didn't take as long for Ulquiorra to learn, but Grimmjow was a different story. "We better get going before the stores close." Xaine stuffed his backpack full of cash.

"Why? We just got here." He stands up and turns to them. "I live here by myself, meaning there is no furniture here for either of you two and not enough food here for three people. You're both different sizes and the clothes you're wearing now is all you have to wear. Neither of you can fit my clothes." He pointed to Grimmjow. "You're too big." Then he pointed to Ulquiorra. "You're a little smaller. Besides, sharing clothes isn't an option." He said slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"Lucky for us I decided to walk to the library instead of drive." They follow him outside to the garage. Once the garage opens, they stare at the strange machine in confusion. It was a candy apple red 2011 Camaro SS. "It's a car, we use it for transportation. This garage can hold up to fifteen cars, but what am I going to do with that many cars?" He pulls out a pair of keys out of his pocket. He presses the button on the remote and there was a beep from the car.

Grimmjow sat in the passenger seat and Ulquiorra sat in the back. "Since you guys have driver's license, it's only fair to give you driver lessons." The revving of the engine only seemed to excite the blunette more. Xaine took off at full speed.

xXx

Xaoine parked the car quickly and gracefully. "Woo hoo! Let's do that again." Grimmjow was completely alive and happy. "Sorry can't."

"Why not?"

"I could've gotten locked up for that. I exceeded the speed limit. It was not safe for pedestrians, the driver, and his/her passengers." Xaine watched the blunette pout and folded his arms. "I just wanted to show you some joy of being here, since it seemed like you hated this place the moment you got here and losing your power didn't help much. I thought it would help by giving you a thrill ride." He glared at Xaine. "When you learn to drive, you can drive your own car to any place you like. If you let me teach you anyway I can about everything I know, I'll let you do whatever you want if it doesn't have consequences. Deal?"

He held out his hand for him to shake and Grimmjow looked at his hand. "What the hell, deal." He shook Xaine's hand. "Let's go, Princess. We don't have all day." Grimmjow opens the door and gets out with a scowl directed at his back.

xXx

"He's always like that don't expect him to change his ways." They had already picked out the furniture and they were sent back to the house. "I don't expect him to be anything but himself, but at the same time I've never met anyone with such an open personality." Grimmjow stopped ahead of them and turned to look at Xaine. "Where are we heading, Princess?"

"We can get food last, so clothes and entertainment."

"What do humans have that is entertaining here?"

"Music, video games, books, movies, tv, etc." Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at the man. "You should know that we have no idea what you're talking about." Xaine nodded and turned to his left. They followed him inside an electronics store. Ulquiorra remained as stoic as ever, but for Grimmjow he was mesmerized. The first thing he went to was the flat screens. "Those are tvs short for televisions. Its where some of our entertainment comes from. You'll need one if you want to watch movies and video games."

Right now he was watching an action flick and Xaine just laughed. "I take it that you like what you see." Grimmjow turned to look at Xaine. "Are ya gonna tell me about these video games or not, Princess?"

"The more you find for him the better the chances of him leaving me alone, so I'd suggest you anser his questions." Grimmjow scowled at the shorter man. "Alright, no fighting. Let's go." After about half an hour of buying two of almost everything. They head to the clothing stores.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why are these clothes so tight?" Xaine watched them try on clothes for them to take home. Ulquiorra seemed fine, but Grimmjow had a problems. Every store had different sizes for his physique. Xaine sat in a chair holding a bundle of clothes and Ulquiorra sat next to him holding his own clothes. Grimmjow opened the curtain to reveal that he was wearing a pair of straight legged jeans and a black v neck that was a size too small. "The jeans are supposed to be fitting. If they feel too tight then we'll just go a size up. The shirt is obviously too small as well. Not every store's sizes are the same, sadly. It's better to have variety than just the same isn't it?"

"Tch. Why the hell are all these girls looking at me like some piece of meat?"

"Yes, I have noticed that as well. Why is that?" Xaine just chuckled. "You've never gotten these looks back at home?"

"If we did we never noticed before."

"Now that you're in a new environment, you're more cautious and paranoid. I understand." Grimmjow walked closer to Xaine and took the clothes that he was wearing earlier off the arm chair. "What are they staring at?" He asked again after changing into his clothes. "Well, they consider us very attractive. It only takes a woman seven seconds to know what they want. They haven't taken their eyes off us snce we walked in."

"But, we're not even interested. Fraternizing with human women is not part of our mission."

"Actually, it is. Your mission was to learn about humans. Females are human and it's only human for humans to be attracted their opposite or same sex. Besides, for women, they like a little forbidden fruit. Some like to be the chaser others like to be the chasee. You two seemed so observant, yet the simplest things slip through your vision."

"Let's get the rest of your clothes, so we can leave before we attract more unwanted attention."

xXx

They left the mall and headed to the store for food and personals. Grimmjow pushed a cart full of food, Ulquiorra pushed a cart full of drinks, and Xaine's was empty.

"The hell's with all of this stuff?"

"So we don't have to keep coming back every month. You're human now, so you have to live on food. It's actually good if you give it a chance."

"Why are you pushing an empty cart?"

"For personals like soap deodorant, cologne, if you choose to wear that. I usually get enough so I don't have to keep coming back. It's a pain." Xaine quickly passed an aisle with a pink sign above it. "Hey, what's wrong with this aisle?" Xaine lets go of his cart and walked over to Grimmjow, who stopped in front of the aisle looking. Xaine stood behind the curious man and pushed him forward. "An aisle where no man should have to go. Those are feminine products made for women only. We're heading to the men's section.

"I am curious. What is down that forbidden aisle?" Xaine could feel his face heat up. "That's a question for Eri."

xXx

"Hey, what are these?" Xaine looked in Grimmjows hand and just smiled. "Thos e are codoms. They're for protection."

"From what?"

"Sexual intercourse." Grimmjow scoffs at the answer. "Humans are prone to a lot of diseases when it comes to sex. Some are hereditary others catch them from the most disgusting places. I doubt that you'd use them, since you have no interest in anyone in the world of the living." Xaine answered turning away "So you say." He mumbled low enough for only Ulquiorra to hear. He looked at Grimmjow with uncertainty.

xXx

They were finally home from shopping and Xaine's house was full of boxes, bags, cases, etc. He looked at his watch. "It's only seven-thirty?"

"Why, tired already?" Grimmjow asked plopping down on the sofa next to Ulquiorra, who already had his nose in a book. "That's not the problem. I have to put everything together from the bed frame to the furniture, etc."

"Doesn't it come put together?"

"Not everything. It could go faster if you helped."

"How long will it take?"

"Few hours maybe." Grimmjow shrugged. "What the hell? Let's do it."

xXx

For the next few hours Grimmjow had been helping him put together the furniture and Ulquiorra watched. He even stated that he isn't good with building things and they would've been better off without his help. Grimmjow seemed to be a natural at building things. "Wow, Grimmjow this seems to come to you." Xaine watched Grimmjow put together the bed frame in both rooms and even hook up the tvs.

"Looks like we're finished. Now all we have to do is put away clothes."

"Great, now show me how to work this stuff." Grimmjow was a mixture of excitement and impatience. "You're not hungry?" As Grimmjow thought about it, his stomach growled. "What is that?"

"You're hungry. I'll order us something." Xaine turned to leave, but Grimmjow grabbed his wrist making him turn. "Not until you show me how to play." Xaine pouted. "I'm not cooking thre food. I'm just ordering it. I'll take half n hour to forty-five minutes to get here. I promise I'll give you my full attention after I get us some food." He nodded grudgingly and let go. He ordered pizza since that seemed the safest to eat.

After ordering the food he tutored the impatient blunette how to use the tv and how to turn on the dvd and video games. "They usually have tutorials in the games, so you should be able to follow it pretty easily."

"Play with me." Xaine looked at him in shock and confusion. "You want me to play with you?" He just nodded. "Okay, let's play a multiplayer game." After about half an hour of beating Grimmjow at COD, the pizza finally came. "I bout four different pizzas, since you're not used to the human food. Sausage, pepperoni, cheese, and a vegetarian pizza." Grimmjow looked at the pizza filled with vegetables with disgust. "It looks disgusting." He looks at the other pizza. "Is this some kind of meat?" Xaine nodded. "Try it."

Grimmjow tried the pepperoni and Ulquiorra tried the sausage. Ulquiorra just stopped chewing and Grimmjow spit his in a napkin. "Okay. Try switching." They each took a piece of the opposite pizza. Xaine watched them enjoy the pizza. Neither of them touched the cheese or the veggie pizza, so he put those in the refrigerator. "Oi. What kind of sake is that?" Xaine looked at Grimmjow, who pointed to the glass bottles on top of the cabinets and refrigerator. "Some is sake, Tequila, vodka, gin, red wines, white wines, champagne, etc. I don't drink much, I keep it in case I have company."

"We're company." Xaine smirked. "I didn't know hollows drink."

"If we're able to drink tea then shouldn't we be able to drink alcohol?" Ulquiorra countered. "I guess you're right." Xaine grabbed a bottle of whiskey and vodka, then opened the refrigerator and grabbed some juice. He set the juice and alcohol on the table and went back in the kitchen and grabbed three glasses. "Will you drink with us, Ulquiorra?"

"No." Xaine pouted. "Why not? You're not in Hueco Mundo. It's just us. No one will judge you."

"Take that stick out of your ass and relax."

"I am relaxed. I just chose not to engage in such mindless behavior. Drinking is one of your brutish characteristics, not mine." Grimmjow glared at the raven. "Let it go, Grimm. If he wants to drink then we'll just set one aside for him. He can join in anytime."


End file.
